First of all, isn’t five thousand dollars a lot for sex?  No, really.  That’s the first thing I thought.

I may not be a porn star with hour-long stamina and foot-long — well, stamina, but five grand is, come on, a vacation somewhere, or a good used car, or a new kitchen, or the fanciest bar-mitzvah in 1976.  But one orgasm?  Even two small ones.  Are you kidding me?  Never mind right or wrong, I just think it’s an awful lot of money.

Even for the prettiest girl in the world — and, frankly, what are the odds his “date” was that –  she’s just a woman and you’re just a middle-aged man with thin hair, and the whole thing is over and done with, and she’s getting dressed while you’re standing in a shower pretty much like the one you have at home.  I know what I’d be thinking:  “Five grand.  Whoa.  I may be the dumbest guy in history.  Lucky for me I’m the governor of a big state.”

Second, if there’s a cheesier name in the history of hooking than...